Association Blog

The Big Bang

I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister.

Cold Blood

I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? You've swallowed a planet! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

  • It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.
  • You've swallowed a planet!

The Parting of the Ways

You've swallowed a planet! I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

Evolution of the Daleks

Did I mention we have comfy chairs? You hit me with a cricket bat. It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'! They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens!

  1. I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself.
  2. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
  3. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
Day of the Moon

All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. Aw, you're all Mr. Grumpy Face today. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!

Amy's Choice

I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you? You've swallowed a planet!

I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. You've swallowed a planet!

You hit me with a cricket bat. Saving the world with meals on wheels. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! You've swallowed a planet!

Did I mention we have comfy chairs? You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!

Published: June 7 09:40, 2013

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Published: May 29 11:51, 2013

Day of the Moon

You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

The Next Doctor

It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!

  • I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.
  • You've swallowed a planet!
  • I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

Father's Day

I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. Saving the world with meals on wheels. Did I mention we have comfy chairs?

Human Nature

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!

  1. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.
  2. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
Father's Day

No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. You've swallowed a planet! No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness.

42

Saving the world with meals on wheels. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'! Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!

You've swallowed a planet! They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you? I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. You've swallowed a planet! I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister. It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'!

I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. You've swallowed a planet! They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! You've swallowed a planet!

You've swallowed a planet! I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why. You hit me with a cricket bat. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? You've swallowed a planet!

Published: May 31 09:39, 2013

The Hungry Earth

I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

42

You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? You've swallowed a planet! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!

  • No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister.
  • It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

Silence in the Library

Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens!

The Rebel Flesh

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?

  1. No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness.
  2. No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness.
  3. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!
  4. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff.
The Idiot's Lantern

You've swallowed a planet! I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister.

The Empty Child

Saving the world with meals on wheels. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. You hit me with a cricket bat. You hit me with a cricket bat. I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself.

You've swallowed a planet! You've swallowed a planet! I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!

It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!

Published: May 24 09:39, 2013

The Curse of the Black Spot

I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. You've swallowed a planet! No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness.

The Christmas Invasion

You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? You've swallowed a planet! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

  • All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?
  • Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?
  • Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish.
  • I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself.

Rise of the Cybermen

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister. I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why.

The Pandorica Opens

Aw, you're all Mr. Grumpy Face today. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

  1. I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself.
  2. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!
  3. You've swallowed a planet!
  4. You've swallowed a planet!
The Doctor's Daughter

I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? You hit me with a cricket bat.

The Family of Blood

All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. You've swallowed a planet!

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in. It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? I hate yogurt. It's just stuff with bits in.

I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why. I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why.

Published: May 17 09:39, 2013

Good Grief!

Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn't like his trailer. That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves.' Michael!

Amigos

We just call it a sausage. Oh, you're gonna be in a coma, all right. Guy's a pro. Marry me.

  • Guy's a pro.
  • No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer's questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.
  • Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you'll have more fun.

Let 'Em Eat Cake

Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn't like his trailer. Marry me. Michael! I'm afraid I just blue myself. It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.

Forget-Me-Now

As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. I hear the jury's still out on science. Marry me. I hear the jury's still out on science. I'm afraid I just blue myself. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast.

  1. Guy's a pro.
  2. Marry me.
Top Banana

I'm half machine. I'm a monster. What's Spanish for "I know you speak English?" I'm a monster. What's Spanish for "I know you speak English?" As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

Top Banana

I hear the jury's still out on science. There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. What's Spanish for "I know you speak English?"

No… but I'd like to be asked! Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Steve Holt! That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves.' No… but I'd like to be asked! I'm a monster.

Michael! That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves.' I'm a monster. Army had half a day.

Really? Did nothing cancel? Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you'll have more fun. I hear the jury's still out on science.

Published: May 10 09:38, 2013

The Deep South

Okay, I like a challenge. I'll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger. Is that a cooking show? The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.

I Second That Emotion

Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm going to come back there and change your opinions manually! It must be wonderful. I found what I need. And it's not friends, it's things. Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV. Ummm…to eBay? I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money.

  • Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of 'will'?
  • But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.

The Sting

Ok, we'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go ride the bumper cars. I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool. Is that a cooking show?

How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back

Okay, I like a challenge. For example, if you killed your grandfather, you'd cease to exist! Just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged.

  1. Also Zoidberg.
  2. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own!
A Tale of Two Santas

And when we woke up, we had these bodies. Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be… Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love! Too much work. Let's burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer.

Published: May 3 09:38, 2013

The Phantom Menace

I call it luck. You are a part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away! I call it luck. He is here.

Rebel Mission to Ord Mantell

I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I'm getting too old for this sort of thing. Don't act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. Red Five standing by.

  • Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
  • You don't believe in the Force, do you?
  • He is here.

Knights of the Old Republic

You don't believe in the Force, do you? Look, I ain't in this for your revolution, and I'm not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I'm in it for the money. She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them, and see to it personally, Commander. There'll be no one to stop us this time!

Return of the Jedi

Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone. Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. I'm trying not to, kid.

  1. Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
  2. What?!
The Empire Strikes Back

But with the blast shield down, I can't even see! How am I supposed to fight? Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport there to Mos Eisley or wherever you're going. Oh God, my uncle. How am I ever gonna explain this? I find your lack of faith disturbing.

A New Hope

What?! I call it luck. I don't know what you're talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan-- She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them, and see to it personally, Commander. There'll be no one to stop us this time! I find your lack of faith disturbing.

I'm surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself. In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. I call it luck.

Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him. Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid. I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. Ye-ha! Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you.

Don't act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. Red Five standing by. In my experience, there is no such thing as luck.

Published: April 26 09:33, 2013

Love's Labors Lost in Space

Throw her in the brig. So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct? I'm a thing.

Bendin' in the Wind

It's toe-tappingly tragic! And remember, don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don't not do it! I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. Now what? We'll need to have a look inside you with this camera. I'll get my kit!

  • I'm a thing.
  • I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.

How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back

We'll need to have a look inside you with this camera. I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness. I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. Fetal stemcells, aren't those controversial? Fetal stemcells, aren't those controversial? THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN!

Mars University

Bender, quit destroying the universe! There, now he's trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors! You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don't pay you or let you go. Why, those are the Grunka-Lunkas! They work here in the Slurm factory. I saw you with those two "ladies of the evening" at Elzars. Explain that. Can we have Bender Burgers again?

  1. Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems.
  2. I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money.
  3. Now Fry, it's been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?
Love and Rocket

Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by "devil", I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat. So, how 'bout them Knicks? Who am I making this out to? I wish! It's a nickel. I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan!

A Clone of My Own

Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! Why, those are the Grunka-Lunkas! They work here in the Slurm factory. Our love isn't any different from yours, except it's hotter, because I'm involved. You don't know how to do any of those. This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry! I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.

You guys go on without me! I'm going to go… look for more stuff to steal! Okay, I like a challenge. Fry! Stay back! He's too powerful! Take me to your leader! Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. Daddy Bender, we're hungry.

I saw you with those two "ladies of the evening" at Elzars. Explain that. Can I use the gun? Aww, it's true. I've been hiding it for so long.

We're also Santa Claus! Now Fry, it's been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal? Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?

Published: April 19 09:33, 2013

Exit Strategy

Really? Did nothing cancel? Marry me. Guy's a pro. Michael!

Exit Strategy

No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer's questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. Really? Did nothing cancel? I'm half machine. I'm a monster. Marry me.

  • He'll want to use your yacht, and I don't want this thing smelling like fish.
  • Army had half a day.
  • That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves.'
  • As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

Pier Pressure

Whoa, this guy's straight? He'll want to use your yacht, and I don't want this thing smelling like fish. That's why you always leave a note! No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer's questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. Really? Did nothing cancel? Guy's a pro.

Good Grief!

Guy's a pro. Really? Did nothing cancel? First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn't date magicians.

  1. That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves.'
  2. I've opened a door here that I regret.
  3. That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves.'
Meat the Veals

There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer's questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. I hear the jury's still out on science. It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.

Amigos

I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Really? Did nothing cancel? I've opened a door here that I regret. There's only one man I've ever called a coward, and that's Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I'm calling you is a television actor. Say goodbye to these, because it's the last time!

Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. There's only one man I've ever called a coward, and that's Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I'm calling you is a television actor. It's called 'taking advantage.' It's what gets you ahead in life. Michael! That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves.' No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer's questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.

That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves.' I care deeply for nature. I'm half machine. I'm a monster. Well, what do you expect, mother?

Across from where? There's only one man I've ever called a coward, and that's Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I'm calling you is a television actor. I'm a monster.

Published: April 12 09:32, 2013